This site’s been up a while, but I have been reticent to write while feeling a bit down. Spring is coming and the weather is nicer so maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Funny thing is that women seem to figure promimently in the world in which I have felt troubled. A couple of years ago I had a big blowout with a group consisting mostly of women. They had a program for kids, a mission, and they weren’t about to brook advice from a paternalistic father. No problem with that, but they couldn’t resist attempting to impose their views at my kid’s school. So after 30 years, I severed ties with my alma mater and, after my 20 year relationship with their group, most of the women severed ties with me. Yes, there were men around, but the group was driven by women.
More recently, I had a bit of a disagreement with a wonderful woman I know. It was a miniature version of the major blowout. She felt that some matter needed to be addressed and I re-learned that same old lesson– never, ever, challenge a woman who’s on a mission.
I just came back from a pro-life banquet, a little celebration for one of the causes in which I so strongly believe. Pro-life is not just a woman’s issue, mind you, but there were only six or eight males wandering the room of two hundred pretentiously well-dressed women and I couldn’t help but notice the absence of any priest. It was clearly a woman’s event. I felt like a fish out of water, and I cannot seem to stop feeling reflective. (Does this mean it rubs off on you?)
How silly of me to think the age old contest of wills between men and women would be gentler within the conservative Catholic circles. It is in fact more vicious and more pernicious in Catholic circles. The Church, the patriarchy set up by God Himself, suffers from a constant assault against its male leadership. None of this should be surprising to me, I guess, but these are “conservative” Catholic women!!
Around the time when I got married I heard a Dominican priest give a homily on Ephesians, Ch. 5, the verse about wives submitting to their husbands. (The neutered version is available from the American Bishops: Eph. 5:21-33.) His homily consisted of nine words. “I wouldn’t touch that with a ten foot pole.” Father must have visited the Bishops before giving that homily. I have heard lots of preachers say that the latter part of the reading is the more important. Generally it is clear that they are trying to placate the women in the audience by emphasizing that the husband has to “give himself up for her”. It’s a rhetorical sleight of hand, really, to fail to make clear what’s not being said. It is not “to” the wife that the husband is given up, but rather “for” her. He is not called to give in to what she wants, but rather to make the sacrifices necessary to put life in proper order, and doesn’t proper order include that she submits to her husband as the Church does to the Lord? Show me a man who imposes or even receives that!
The stress of trying to make rational arguments and to be constant in the face of the sea of emotionalism is, perhaps, a “type” of crucifixion. The women may not drive nails, but they will make life damned unpleasant, to be sure. We have lost the meaning of “submission” and of “authority”. Everybody is boss, especially in the family and Church, and even the bishop is expected to be a social worker.
A couple of Scripture passages come to mind. A Roman soldier said to Christ, “For I too am a man subject to authority, with soldiers subject to me.” (Again, the version given by the US Bishops is the neutered version: Matthew 8:9.) Saint Paul wrote, “I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man.” 1 Tim 2:12 The Church has spent 40 years falling all over herself to deny any significance whatsoever to this passage and no doubt the Bishops are still trying to find a way to neuter it, but all in all Paul is rather clear on the point.
When I was a young pup, I happily trotted down the road of life, crossing lots of dangerous railroad tracks, teasing the girls with these passages, but never losing my head. Little did I know how serious the “war of the sexes” would be in life as my country falls to the leadership chosen by girls across America.
If it is given to men to build and structure society, as so many conservative Catholics assert, why are there women surrounding the altars even in “conservative” churches and making the decisions even in “conservative” families and groups? Are the women taking over or are the men abdicating? Many modern women, conservative or liberal, do what they feel and many feel no shyness about taking over situations and making their opinions heard. They have strong feelings and they influence society. What man would volunteer to argue with today’s in-charge women? St. Paul would be run out town on a rail for denying women the right to lead and the modern conservative men would be standing on the sidelines wondering why he has to upset the women so.
Perhaps the saint’s point was that when emotions replace reasoning, the very structure of society is undermined. I’d love to see statistical evidence on this, but it seems that, in debates, men get their feelings hurt less often than women. It seems that debates involving women often veer from the principles and turn to feelings. It also seems that men get worn out trying to deal with emotions and sometimes they are willing to trade their masculinity for a little peace and quiet. Is this process bad for society? St. Paul seemed to think so.